Monday, April 30, 2012

Break-Up's Are Hard to Do..Study Says you lose Eight Friends in the Process

Break-up's are hard enough. You cry, you overeat or don't eat at all and lock yourself in your bedroom with Ben & Jerry's and a years supply of sappy movies. 


But after all the tears and empty containers, you come to your senses and realize that the relationship wasn't all it was cracked up to be anyways and in the end you can see that you have only really lost one friend who didn't deserve you anyways, right?


A new study by HealBee.com says after a long-term relationship ends you are actually likely to lose about eight friends- most likely to be about three friends of the ex-partner and three or so mutual friends made during the relationship.


Speaking from experience, I maintained one mutual friend after my last long-term relationship ended and I've witnessed the break-ups of some of my friends where I too I have completely lost touch with my friend's ex-partner. 


31 % of the 2,000 people polled ( people who recently went through a break-up) said they regret some of their actions during the break-up because of the effect it had on their friendships- Maybe too many drunk phone calls or texts sparring with your ex left some bad blood?


Once the relationship was finalized, over -terminated, 49% claimed  either they or their ex were pushed out of one another's group of friends.


Although this statistic sounds a bit disheartening, would you want to be the cause of awkward stares and hushed whispers. What if one of you wants to bring a new partner around out on a night your group of friends are all going out to a bar? If you happen to have watched any of the Jersey Shore episodes on MTV you know Sammy didn't take it well when she saw Ronny out just talking to other girls and you can see just how uncomfortable their fights and break-ups made the other housemates/friends.



Chad Schofield, founder of the site added, " No matter how supportive your friends and family  actually are, there's often a need to make some big life decisions which may well affect you for years to come- all at a time when you may not be fully ready to or be at your most rational."


Hmm let's see.. My last break-up resulted in myself chopping all my hair off and taking some very impromptu and pricey trips around the world...


From the study only 12 % revealed that they couldn't have asked their friends to be any more supportive during their difficult time- A statistic that seems a little too low for my liking.. 


True friends will be there for you through thick and thin, if you lose some during a break-up you probably know deep down that they weren't your real friends anyways. 



Friday, April 27, 2012

Would You Break Up with your Boyfriend if He Did This?

This Guy may have scared the bejusus out of his girlfriend but his clever prank caught on tape made him ( and kinda her) and instant youtube star. The Boyfriend describes his practical joke here:

"I got off of work early and snuck into my girlfriends apartment with a spare key. I waited for her to get off of work and I dressed up with a face mask and a trench coat on acting as if I was robbing the place. I was holding their 32" TV, a duffle bag full of their stuff, and their laptop in my hand. When I heard the door open then close, I ran out to surprise them.... Poor girl was crying haha"


Well I guess she can't be too mad, he did land them both on Good Morning America this morning!

But will she get him back? How would you repay your jokester of a boyfriend?

She got Punk'd:


Wednesday, April 25, 2012

MissTravel.com: Who Needs Money, Beautiful People Travel Free


Brandon Wade is a well-known online matchmaker with a certain kind of flair. He created such controversial sites as Sugardaddy.com, SeekingArrangement.com and WhatsYourPrice.com.

In what you might call a cross between Expedia.com and match.com, or perhaps it’s more like "Indecent Proposal" meets "Pretty Woman"?

Brandon’s new website, MissTravel.com is the only online dating website for travelers. The site says they, “match generous travelers who hate to travel alone with Attractive travelers who would love the opportunity to travel the world for free."

Launched less than two weeks ago MissTravel.com has already signed up over 16,000 users.

The generous members can use the website for free while they search through thousands of attractive members profiles then once they find a mate of their liking they can send them a travel invitation. Once the ‘attractive member’ accepts their travel proposal the generous member has to purchase credits to communicate freely and plan their trip.

The site offers three different travel options, the generous member can invite the attractive member to visit him/her in their home city, offer to visit the attractive member in their home town or ask the attractive member to accompany them to travel to a new destination.

If the new pair ends up traveling, the generous member is expected to and will have to pay for all of their attractive members travel expenses.

Though Cupids arrow has no bounds, not everyone is convinced.

Psychologist and relationship expert Dr. Robi Ludwig says the site sounds more like a traveling escort service. “It's true, people can meet other people anywhere and anyway to fall in love, but there's an obvious imbalance of power inherent in this situation which could be problematic to dangerous,” Ludwig said.

Another enticing incentive for attractive members is the site’s system that allows generous members to gift frequent flyer points to them. As soon as an attractive member collects enough miles he/she can redeem them for airline tickets or hotel rooms at any destination they would like.

“This is even better than escorting. It sounds like modern mail order marriage,” Steve Ward host of VH1’s Tough Love said.

I don't care how badly I wanted to see the world and travel for free..if it meant I had to go with a complete stranger who is most likely hoping to bang more than a couple of coconuts on his next tropical excursion I can wait.. I don't know maybe I'll continue to work and save my own money to go on my own trip on my own terms.. 

Here is the site's promo: 


Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Swimwear Advice from a Psychologist

Obviously no one "likes" trying on bathing suits, unless perhaps your a Victoria Secrets model.. but maybe they have days they feel bloated too( but probably not).


I was reading an article on a new study that found women can slip into a bad mood just from imagining themselves trying on bathing suits. 


Ok, yes..makes sense.. you might be day dreaming about your next shopping expenditure but its still for a bathing suit.


The study links the act of  'imagining yourself wearing a swimsuit' to an increase of self-objectification (which is a psych term for looking and judging yourself based on how you think other people look at you).


Marika Tiggemann, study researcher and psychologist surveyed female undergraduates on different scenarios to test the impact of clothing on self-objectification. 


The study found that imagining wearing a swimsuit in a dressing room made women self-objectify more than a public scenario like wearing a swimsuit while walking down a beach.


Tiggerman explains that a dressing room scene can be more unnerving because of potential objectifying  features like bright lights, lots of mirrors and of course the decision of whether or not you look good enough  to purchase the swimsuit. 


So again, Ok- I get it.. trying on bathing suits is annoying and less fun then strolling on the beach wearing one.. sure, doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure that one out... 


However...


It wasn't the theme of the study that caught my attention.. it was the good doctors advice that blew my mind.


To prevent self-objectification she says to, " avoid mirrors and comparisons with others and focus on activities that emphasize the function, not the appearance of the body.."


Really? That is her professional advice? Just avoid mirrors? Why don't you tell us all- because we all have at least one insecurity with our bodies-that we should throw a brown bag over our heads and avoid life- there are mirrors and reflections everywhere lady! And don't compare yourself with others? OK fine point, but a point I assume we already know but you can't help compare something to something else at some point- its a part of life. Like comparing a new guy to an ex. I like that restaurants Clam chowder more than the others etc...and lastly 'focus' on the swimsuits function and not the appearance? We're not buying gym clothes, if were going to be practically naked the small amount of material we are going to be wearing better be somewhat attractive.


I just hope this is not the kind of advice people pay this doctor for in any one-on-one sessions.. 


Swimsuit season is upon us.. and unless you don't plan on going to the beach or pool you might as well prepare yourself for a less than happy afternoon at the mall ... and here is a tip from me.. wear or bring high heels.. the higher the better they will always make you look taller and slimmer when your trying on suits ( not that I expect you to wear them ON the beach-leave those looks for the Jersey Shore girls-) But while your in the changing rooms it helps-trust me. 

Tuesday Tube: Watch out for that Sink Hole!

A young Chinese girl was talking on her cellphone when in instant the ground below her grumbled plunging her down below the ground. 


Apparently underground water had eroded the ground under the road and caused a cavity under the pavement.


But don't worry a courageous and chivalrous cabbie who was driving by came to the rescue and climbed into the six-metre deep pit to help save her.

Monday, April 23, 2012

When Grandmothers Give Out Sex Advice


We all know old people can have their moments of comedy.. Look at the funny platform Ellen Degeneres' mother has on her daughters show, hilarious. But watch out Mrs. Degeneres because there is another funny mom in town!

It wasnt until I was browsing through one of my favorite websites, Nerve.com when I cam upon the headline  'Sex advice from my Grandmother'.

Eighty six year-old, Grandma Carmela, wanted to leave some words of wisdom to her then 20-year old granddaughter.. wisdom in sex that is.

After Grandma Carmela didnt get an answer regarding whether her granddaughter was still a virgin or not she decided to make sure, that no matter what, she dutifully passed down her years of sexpertise.

In a cursive, hand-written letter Grandma Carmela wrote down 16 nuggets of advice, ranging from advice on anal sex, soul-mates and clean penis'.

I'll share my top 3 with you..

1- "When dating a new man, do not feel obligated to have sex with him because he bought you dinner. To avoid this, pay for your own dinner. You are getting to know each other. You are not a homeless person who needs a meal." ( Amen sister! Rent might be expensive so choose a happy hour special instead!)
2- "Never marry someone and say "Well, I can always get a divorce if I'm not happy." When there are children, you are never divorced. The ex-husband will be in your life forever, so make sure you marry the right guy." ( Children or not, shouldnt you be 100% sure you want to marry someone before you say I do??)
3- Many men are pigs. They want sex every day! You are not obligated to say "yes" to please him if you do not feel up to it. You never do anything unless you want to. To pacify the pig, give him manual stimulation.
( isn't that called roll over and pretend your passed out?)

I can't take any more of the credit for these witty lines of advice that is due to Nerve.com and Grandma Carmela so click here to read the full list of 16 tips.. http://www.nerve.com/advice/sex-advice-from/sex-advice-from-my-grandmother

I have already put in my request for my own grandmother's sex/love advice letter.. to be continued if she ever writes one to me..


Who Do you Talk to the Most? Your Best Friend?

So who is your "Fav 5"..you know those annoying commercials from T-mobile, who is your "Fave Five"..selling you unlimited call to your favorite five numbers? But did you ever think your favorite numbers could prove how invested you are in creating romantic ties?

A new study published in the journal of Scientific suggests that romantic relationships are driven by women.

The Oxford University experts took mobile phone data (calls and texts) from about 3 million Europeans over seven months to compile their findings.

Their results showed that women in their 20's start to have a male "best-friend" until about the age of 45 or so where there phone-calling patterns change and turn to a female "best bud".

Men on the other hand, develop their female "best-friend" around 22 years old and keep them as their #1 speed dial for about the first 7 years of their relationship until their calls start to shift more towards other friends..

The reason why?

They say men have a more consistent  pattern in calling their assumed to be girlfriend turned wife in the earlier years of their relationship..while women focus on their male best friend (presumably their boyfriend-husband) during the early and 'reproductive' stages in their lives and then shift their focus to a female best-friends ( most likely their daughter).

Basically saying that women call their spouse more than anyone else until their children turn to be around a childbearing age.

The studies co-author, professor Robin Dunbar says, "what seems to happen is that women push the 'old man' out to become their second best friend, and he gets called much less often and all her attention is focused on her daughters just at the point at which you are likely to see grandchildren arriving."

That makes sense right? As soon as a woman's own kids are married and settled down its,"So when am I going to get some grand kids" and "You're not getting any younger I hope I'm still around to be a grandmother".. In my own "scientific" research that would seem to be the more than likely reason for the volume change in phone calls.

And while your mother is pestering you about when her grandchild stork is going to arrive your mate is out calling his other friends to hit up the golf course so he doesn't have to endure the next harangue.

So who do you call or text you more often? If your in a relationship and in your mid 20's is it your mate? Or if your in your mid 40's are you speed dialing your daughter?

Somehow it all reminds me of the movie 'Little Fockers' .. you know.. overbearing parents and all...

Thursday, April 19, 2012

Is There Really A Science to Relationships?

Sure everyone likes a little relationship advice here and there. Whether its in the form of sitting around with your girlfriends drinking a big bottle of wine or watching a marathon of 'Tough Love' no ones relationship is perfect and suggestions are usually welcomed. 


In a new book, "The Science of Relationships", a group of 15 university researchers and experts came together to help us all decipher 40 of the most common romantic dilemmas. 


One topic they tackle is whether or not we are drawn to someone like our mother/father... ( you know what all the shrinks call 'daddy issues' or 'mamas boy'). Co-author Benjamin Le says that studies show that the type of attachment a parent makes to their child can be a factor in the outcome of their romantic preferences. 


For example, if the parent was not consistently there for their child, the child may grow up with the expectations that their partner can't be relied on... 


Which brings me to the idea of how we all measure relationship success? Are you more successful if you have a longer marriage or if you were happier longer in that marriage but are no longer married?


Le goes answers this in part by talking about personality pairings.. saying its common for one person to be the avoidant type while the other is more of the worried/anxious and jealous type- does this sound familiar in any of your past or current relationships? Though before you worry yourself any further, Le actually says those types of couples are pretty stable and common and can last as long as the 'secure and healthy ones! ( see you can relax now)... 


Another hopeful question they address is whether or not fighting is a good or bad thing.. ( they must believe in make-up sex, right?)... Le says, "Couples who are thinking about the future, they step back and think about discussing this in ways that will make us both happy." 


Contributing editor, Jennifer Harman adds that the end of an argument can possibly do a lot of damage to your relationship. You know when you leave the room slamming the door behind you and threatening to leave or just  leaving without saying a word aka Irish exiting. Harman says, "Any time you start using negativity it takes a lot of other positive acts to reverse it." (aka make-up sex?)


But what happens when you reach the marriage point of your relationship, are we all doomed to lose some kind of sizzle and spark that we started with? Harman says sadly we do, contributing life's happenings in terms of jobs, kids and life demands to suck the life/satisfaction out of your marriage. Of course they offer some solace, saying  new activities can boost your relationship satisfaction..physical and intellectual activities that is- so no,  relaxing on a couch watching football and/or the Food Network all day doesn't count...





Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Pleasure with Pain

Don't worry I'm not talking about Fifty Shades of Grey again.. not yet at least.. though the author did just make Time Magazine's list of 100 most influential people in the world.

But no, I'm talking Christian Louboutin. You know him as the famous shoe designer popular for his signature high heels with red sole trademark that will run you about $800-$2,000 dollars.

This week UK's Grazia Magazine published an interview with the iconic shoe man where he told them that he had no sympathy for women who complain about high heels hurting their feet. "If Tina Turner and Prince's back-up band can perform on stage in them for three hours, you can't tell me they are impossible to walk in."

Louboutin isn't alone in this theory, women spent $38.5 billion on shoes in the U.S last year (according to NPD group more than half of those sales were for shoes with heels over 3 inches high).

Everyone already knows high heels can't be good for your health, for one thing they usually leave you with sore toes and blistered heels though what's more threatening and slightly alarming is the amount of extra pressure the inside of your knees take on from them- some studies actually say this pressure can increase up to 26% and possibly lead to osteoarthritis.

Now although some doctor's may say that if you insist on wearing heels to go for the ones that are 2 inches or less- which let's be honest here, are 2 inch heels really high heels? -I didn't think so.

My recommendation would be the advice most NYC ladies live by, leave your heels under your desk and wear your best pair of flats when you can.

Mr. Louboutin's advice? " High Heels are pleasure with pain. If you can't walk in them, don't wear them."

You can read his full interview with Grazia here: http://www.graziadaily.co.uk/fashion/archive/2012/04/17/grazias-paula-reed-meets-christian-louboutin-in-the-year-his-design-house-celebr.htm

So if you do choose to brave the pain and affliction high fashion heels will bring you...just do yourself a favor and learn how to walk in them..and oh yeah..don't complain about them either per Louboutin's request


.

HumpDay Hymns: Maroon 5's New Single

Whether your a fan or not Maroon 5 released a new single "Payphone" this week and will drop their 4th studio album Overexposed June 26th..Although I may not be a huge fan of the group or Adam Levine, I do have to admit the song is pretty catchy and you could be hearing it all summer long..  What are your thoughts are you over this "overexposed" group or do they have one more popular season left in them?


Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Too Funny Not to Share

Titled "Too Heavy" and posted by Cr8zyFamily.. This little girl throws a tantrum when her dad asks her to put her bowl in the sink after they finish eating...

Fifty Shades of Grey..2 Books Down 1 More to Go

If you haven't heard of the 'Romantic' novel "Fifty Shades of Grey" yet, then .. well.. then you need to get better girlfriends or crawl out of the hole you've living in. 


The book that has captivated millions is basically about a love story between one gorgeous rich man, Christian Grey and one virginal and virtuous young woman Anna Steele.


Sounds like your run-of-the-mill romance novel right? ... Maybe Not.


Christian has not only intrigued Anna with his boyishly good looks and confident swagger, but he introduces her into the unspoken world of BDSM ( Bondage, discipline, sadism and masochism). 


I'll be honest, my mother was the first to tell me about the book- which she described to me as a 'romance novel everyone is talking about'. I had just finished the Hunger Games trilogy and figured why not give another trilogy a go. Though it wasn't until I was riding the subway to work at 6 in the morning that I realized this was not your traditional Nicholas Sparks type of love story. Thankfully I was reading from my kindle and no one around me could tell that I was leafing through an erotic sex scene before bashfully running out of the metro.


Now I've shared a few pages with my boyfriend, who just rolled his eyes and told me I was reading porn and when I shared my enthusiasm for the book with my girlfriends they too didn't show any interest. Was I missing something here? The book did sell more than a quarter of a million books within a year not to mention the movie deal it scored for a reported 5 million. 


Perhaps some can't get over the idea that "Fifty Shades of Grey" is just some soft porn dirty Ol' romance that more of the 40-somethings are responding to, but I still recommend you to pick up at least the first one and give it a try. 


Yes there is a lot of sex-talk and sex-scenes...some with whips, floggers, blindfolds, cuffs, plugs, clamps etc.. but behind all the kinkery there is a solid love story between two people.. one that has a sad and scary childhood that unveils secrets into why a life of BDSM works for him... and another played by the hopeless romantic who cant help feel the need to "fix" her troubled lover, which I think everyone at some point might be able to relate to.  The broken man that has so much 'potential', could you be the one to fix him.. Could you be his white knight?


I just started the third book of the trilogy and (without giving anything away) will tell you the book is one- not all about sex (thought there is A LOT).. two- not all hearts and flowers ( though there are some corny lines mixed in) and three- actually has some interesting and thrilling plot twists that will surprise you. 


Some extra interesting tidbits on the 50 Shades extravaganza:

  • The author, E.L James told 20/20 anchor Elizabeth Vargas "it's all my fantasies in, in one thing." ..and went on to say her two teenage sons have NOT read her book (Thank God..or else her book sales will be paying for their psychotherapy for the rest of their lives).
  • Fifty Shades is now a NO.1 on multiple best seller lists.
  • Books two & three hit book shelves today (they were only available in the U.S electronically before)
  • Sex shops have seen a spike in sales since the book has been out ( Pleasure Chest, a sex shop in California is organizing a "Fifty Shades of Pleasure" workshop- Chk your local listings).
  •  One Man told Pleasure Chest, "my wife's reading this book. She attacked me three times last week. I've been married for 20 years and we rarely have sex three times in one week."
  • Twitter and entertainment sites have already been taking guesses at who will be cast as Christian Grey ( Leonardo Dicaprio (my favorite), Ed Westwick ( you know from Gossip Girls, doesn't anyone still watch that show other than me?), Ryan Gosling (would be great but a little too obvious and well known). Here is a good read on possible castings for the whole movie:  http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/04/16/fifty-shades-of-grey-casting_n_1430214.html?ref=entertainment ) 
So don't be embarrassed and jump on the Fifty Shades of Grey bandwagon and GO ahead and read them.. and read them all~



Monday, April 16, 2012

Briefcase Over Baby?

A new social science study suggests that women are pursuing more high-paying jobs because we're "afraid" we won't find a husband to help support us and a family. 


Shocked? Not really.
Gone are the days where women can only nab jobs that revolve around the kitchen or laundry room. Women now hold 16% of corporate board-appointed positions at Fortune 500 firms. 


The study's geographic data and research shows a connection between low numbers of men and a high percentage of women seeking lucrative careers. They also found that women in areas with fewer men often chose to wait longer to have children. 


In case your curious just where these career-driven women might be coming up empty-handed in the dating pool, I found this graph below that breaks down the single population by single men vs. single women.


Only two states came in with more single men than single women (according to 2010 data): Alaska & Wyoming. 


Two states had equal populations of single men and single women (Nevada and Arizona), while the remainder of the states had more single women than single men. 


The greatest gaps were in Alabama, Connecticut, Maryland, Mississippi, New Jersey and Pennsylvania which each have 5% more single women than men.


It seems like a no-brainer that women would start to smarten up and stop relying on their partner to support them financially.  Women aren't marrying up as much as they used to ( says a study done by the Institute for Public Policy Research which results show more women are marrying for love rather than money these days: You can find the full report on this here: http://www.ippr.org/articles/56/8986/no-more-mad-men-marriages-for-women) 


So if you want the finer things in life plus financial freedom.. get a J-O-B.. and get a good one!

Friday, April 13, 2012

Numbers Don't Lie: A book on Love, Sex & Dating by Numbers

After last night's episode of "Grey's Anatomy" where one poor misguided doctor gets slapped in the face with the news that her beloved husband has cheated on her, I wondered what the most recent statistics on cheating must be. However after a quick search I came upon a much more interesting statistic.

When a man thinks his partner is cheating on him, chances are 50/50 that he is right. -Now before you object...Whereas if a woman suspects that her endearing partner is cheating on her she is correct 85%. Coincidence? Psychic abilities? No. It's just in the numbers.

Statistician John Croucher spent years researching and studying the association between love and numbers by compiling survey results from research acquired by an array of "amorous activities".

Here are some of my favorite "love numbers":

  •   15% of those using dating websites or personal ads are already married or in a relationship.( I can attest to this one-eh hem one of my ex's).
  • 68% of men think when a woman invites you for coffee it's really an invitation to have sex ( when did coffee become an aphrodisiac?)
  • 19% of men think its OK to break-up via email ( I guess post-it's are a thing of the past).
  • Fewer than 2 in 5 people believe they married their soul-mate ( see all those Nicholas Sparks books are lying to us!)
  • 38% of men have fantasized about having sex with their partner's girlfriends ( reason why models don't have any friends)
Croucher does acknowledge that some of his #'s may have some margin of error but to look at them more as a useful guide to how men and women think.

"Ask men what makes their blood run cold when your partner says it to you and number one in all the survey's I've seen is, ' We have to talk,'" Croucher said. Adding that when men hear the ol' we have to talk remark it either means three things; that she's going to leave him, she found somebody else or has found something out about him that demands his attention or explanation.

Whether you want to believe what an assortment of numbers has to do with you and your relationship, it serves as an interesting read and better yet maybe an amusing coffee table book.


Thursday, April 12, 2012

A New TV Comedy about Girls.. Will they Get it Right?

HBO is coming out with a new comedy for TV's 'Single Females', cleverly called "Girls".


The premium cable network debuts "Girls" this Sunday at 10:30pm ET and hope to bring in another Sex in the City type success..but will they strike gold twice?


The show follows a group of four girls in their early twenties trying to survive in the big bad city that is-New York City. The main character, Hannah, played by Lena Dunham-who also happens to be the show's executive producer, director and writer, plays the slightly overweight average looking aspiring writer who struggles to pay her rent, is infatuated with a lousy guy and oh yeah is gainfully unemployed. Sounds a lot like Carrie Bradshaw right?


The series was greenlighted after funnyman and  "Bridesmaid" filmmaker Judd Apatow took notice of Dunham after she caught attention from her Sundance success "Tiny Furniture" ( another story about a young 20-something subsisting in the cold cruel world that in New York City). 


Though critics were quick to compare "Girls" to another crack at a Sex in the City spin-off, Hannah and her friends don't live the glamours and confident lifestyle Carrie and her posse were so fortunate to have. For one, they don't have high-powered jobs that afford them manolos and pricey martinis every night. Instead, Hannah has been cut off financially from her parents and works as an unpaid intern with sky-high school loans.


And secondly, Hannah's friends don't mirror characters like sex-crazed Samantha, Preppy and privileged Charlotte, or a bossy and career obsessed Miranda. 


Hannah's Best friend Marnie serves as the responsible one. With good looks, a good job and a boyfriend I'd say she plays the Charlotte type role maybe tied in with a little speck of Miranda.


Hannah's other friend Jessa could turn out to be the Samantha in the group as her background reveals she is an experienced traveler with boyfriends in every country code.


And Shoshanna may have a little Charlotte in her as well as she plays the innocent virgin who is apparently obsessed with Sex in the City ( which I think screams 'TOO CLICHE').





As a girl who lived in NYC in my early, mid and now late twenties ( God I'm getting old) I'am curious and hopeful for this new comedy intended for the TV-watching ladies out there..And I certainly agree with Dunham and her vision of what post-college life can be about, "Life is more complicated in your 20's than it used to be. For a long time, women have talked about wanting and having it all. Now there's a new generation of women saying, 'yeah, we get it, but it's not going to be an easy journey.'"

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Want your Man to be More Affectionate? "Cuddle Drug" to the Rescue!

Why is it that men never seem to want to "cuddle"...And no it doesn't count as cuddling if you have to ask him.

If your plagued with the problem of being with a "non-cuddler"..rest assure that the good people at the Journal of Sexual Medicine have researched a possible cure- and no, it doesn't involve witchery or any love potions.

The cure is Oxytocin, a hormone more known for its use in inducing labour.

According to new research a married man who sniffed a nasal spray with oxytocin two times a day became more affectionate to friends and co-workers and better yet, reported an improvement in his sexual performance.

The man apparently had a 46% improvement score on all items such as his libido, sexual arousal, erectile function and satisfaction with organism. 

Some believe Oxytocin is naturally released after male and female orgasm ( eh-hem.. the reason why men might give you the time of cuddle after sex) but it has even been shown to have effects on behavior when it comes to boosting trust, co-operation and bonding. ( So how fast can we get our hands on some of this?!)

Though oxytocin is not currently licensed for this use ( Damn!) and still needs to be further investigated, some scientist are calling it the "New Viagra".

Here is a fun way to "decode" your man's cuddling ways: http://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/relationship-advice/cuddling-positions

And the studies Abstract here: http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/j.1743-6109.2012.02703.x/abstract

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Female Orgasms: One, Two or Several?

A new series of essays attempt to prove that vaginal and clitoral orgasms are actually a separate miracle.


Emmanuele Jannini, a professor at the University of Aquila in Italy who organized and worked on the essays, says they do in fact have evidence to prove there is a difference between the two main orgasms, clitoral and vaginally activated orgasms.


Jannini and six other scientists were basically trying to figure out if women can only get orgasms through clitoral/external orgasm...which they concluded is not the case based on the fact that there isn't enough scientific evidence to prove it. 


..AKA - This is good news ladies!


One scientist, Barry Komisaruk of Rutgers University tested brain waves to show which sensory brain areas activate in response to stimulation. He found that the brain areas for clitoral, cervical and vaginal stimulation overlap and cluster together.This proves that each kind of stimulation can produce an orgasm...because if they didn't and women were getting aroused let's say for example by vagina stimulation via clitoral stimulation their brain waves would land on the exact same area in the brain- Its a lot to swallow I know.. but it basically means he believes there are several ways for women to orgasm versus just one.


The Livescience.com article goes on to tackle and describe other aspects of their essays but I'll sum it up with a few of the more interesting tidbits.


  • Research has suggested that the sensitive G-spot has a pain-blocking function during labor; when the baby's head is stretching out the vaginal walls. Her studies have found that when pressure is applied to the G-spot, a woman's pain threshold shoots up 47 percent (In other words, you can "scientifically" handle more pain when your delivering a child. - I'd like to see some more research on that one before I would fully believe it).
  •  Women with spinal cord injury that cuts off all communication between the clitoris and the brain can still have orgasms with vaginal stimulation( Good for them!)
  • But one orgasm myth that all researchers agree should be kicked out of the bedroom is that the vagina is insensitive. ( Duh- ask a bunch of women and they probably could have figured that one out a lot faster).
  • Jannini cautioned, women who don't orgasm vaginally should not feel inferior. "A woman should have an understanding — who is she, how is her body composed, what is the possibility of her body.." ( they'll probably feel more depressed than inferior).
If you want to read the whole write-up take a look:http://www.livescience.com/19579-vaginal-orgasm-debate.html

And if you want to pay to read the entire study you can get it here: http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/j.1743-6109.2012.02694.x/abstract


A Job You Probably Don't Want to Apply For!

This caught my eye and I had to share...

JOB OPENING: SERIES PRODUCERS, APs, PAs/NYC: for multiple web series. Previous exp in talk, studio shows. Smart, easy-going, must be extremely detail oriented & calm under pressure. No crying!*&(%*%@gmail.com (4/1)


Notice my highlighted portion.. Note to self- Applying for any kind of job that ends the position description with "No Crying" is probably not a happy place you want to work at.


I've worked with.. let's say "demanding" co-workers in my day, and I will admit I have even cried in the workplace-but not in front of anyone.. bathroom ladies please, we obviously can't be pigeonholed into the sensitive poor little delicate things some males want to assume we are..


I always like to remember Tom Hanks' quote in A League of Their Own, "There's no Crying in Baseball"-- and apply it to the office space. "There is no crying at work-as long as no one sees you"....






Crying at work.. Ok or Not ok?

Stupid People in Funny Videos...

Since I find not only good stories but also great video stories at work I wanted to share this funny (well I think it's funny) video of a girl getting blown away at a beach by the blast of a jet plane that happens to be parked right by the edge of the beach.. 


This is filmed at  Maho beach in Sint Maarten (a Caribbean island of Saint Martin)  behind Princess Juliana International Airport. You can tell that there are a few brave people running towards the fence no doubt trying to stage a cartoon like scene of the wind blowing them in midair while they hang on to the fence.


...Only they forgot that this isn't a cartoon and no silly stars and sparkles will appear above their head after they smash in into the edge of a wall... Happy Tuesday~

Monday, April 9, 2012

Books that Explain Dating...

I read an interview with the author of "Attached" by psychiatrist and neuroscientist Dr. Amir Levine. In the interview he talks about his new book and how it explains the science behind finding and keeping your significant other... basically saying that there is a whole science to how we behave in romantic relationships which no one has known before.

He starts off with stating that we are all dependent on our significant other- note this is not a question on whether you are or are not, he says its a biological fact- and the only way you'll find the right person to 'depend' on is to determine your "attachment style" which he breaks down into 3 categories.

1- Avoidance; you want to be in a relationship but once you start getting too close to your partner you feel like you are losing your independence and quickly want to shut down and close yourself off. ( Been there- done that..What's that saying again..."Better to have loved and lost than never loved at all").

2- Anxious; You want to be close and intimate but you worry about being loved back ( Yup- Another check in my box..You have all seen the movie He's Just Not That Into You right?)

3- Secure; The warm and loving types who are usually very easy going and comfortable with intimacy ( I would consider myself to be easy going, does that count?)

Levine basically says if you're the "Secure" type you can date anyone and that these people are like 'having a relationship coach built into your relationship'. Calling all Dr.Phils out there- You have now become the next ABC Bachelor contestant!

One piece of dating advice I have to quote here is Levine's recommendation to ' wear your heart on your sleeve when you go on a date. It's not a place of weakness; it comes from a place of strength'... Maybe the good doctor didn't catch the with Bachelorette contestant Casey when he literally tattooed a heart on his sleeve and sang his true feelings to Bachelorette Ali Fedotowsky..




He goes on with other enlightening encouragement saying that these epitomes, the "secure ones", know  'instinctively that they need to take care of their partner's needs to avoid a huge fight and be happy'.

Maybe I am reading too much into this, but instead of playing the submissive role, wouldn't you think compromise and compatibility would play some part in the equation for a happy relationship?



You can check out more information on Dr.Levine and his book from the good doctor's website: http://www.attachedthebook.com/about-the-book/

Sunday, April 8, 2012

Happy Easter.. The evolution of Easter traditions

It's Easter. A day to celebrate the resurrection of Jesus Christ. Kids across the country wake up to chocolate filled baskets and hidden painted eggs stashed around their yard. Families put on their 'Sunday Bests' and head to Church and feast on the holiday's staple treats like warm ham and deviled eggs.  Those are just a few of the most common Easter traditions. But what about attending a Church ceremony not to listen to your fellow Priest rehash the story of Jesus's resurrection and take communion or make confession but to listen to a professional football player and newly appointed NY Jet quarterback deliver your Easter Sunday sermon.

That's right, I could only be talking about the Knee-bending Jesus lover Tim Tebow.

Apparently he will be at the Celebration Church in Texas speaking in front of an estimated 30,000 people. The 24-year old Heisman trophy winner will speak for about 20 minutes outside on the church's 60 acre site.

 The church's pastor called the event "their Super Bowl". Really? Super Bowl? If Jesus could roll over in his grave, I'm almost certain he would, because the last time I checked going to Church on Easter Sunday wasn't like going to a booze-fest filled arena shouting obscenities at your teams rival. The Church actually rented 110 buses to pick-up attendees from 6 different locations.. what is this Woodstock?

I was already over the whole "Tim Tebow craze" when he started pulling the Broncos out of the dark last season and was secretly grinning when Peyton Manning knocked him off his pedestal in Denver. But now it seems Tebow has resurrected himself from the shadows once again-first conducting a press conference when he officially became a Jet ( who seriously has a press conference for a back-up quarterback!) and now this?

In case anyone has forgotten, today is not a day for celebrity sports figures to cash in on more publicity. Easter is the day when we celebrate Jesus Christ rising from the dead- you know Jesus aka the son of God who died for our sins?

Here is a helpful explanation of the real history of Easter...in case you need or would like a refresher: http://www.history.com/topics/history-of-easter


Here is the AP write-up on Tebow's "Church Event" : http://www.nytimes.com/aponline/2012/04/08/sports/football/ap-fbn-tebow-easter-speech.html?ref=aponline

Friday, April 6, 2012

Wash your Hair Before You Go To Work!

I will admit, when I was working for a television morning show and all of my colleagues were female- with the exception of a few males ( but 2 out of 4 of them were gay anyways) I really didn't care about primping myself up just to go to work with a bunch of chicks. 


However, once I changed jobs and was thrown back into an environment with men and women cohorts, I figured it might be worth actually blow drying my hair and wearing a skirt or two to work..to... to.. what look more professional? To look like I care about my job more because I took more time getting ready in the morning? I'm sure you've heard of the saying 'Dress for the job you want not the one you have"..  So did I subconsciously think that dressing and looking better in the presence of men versus women would help me 'get the job I want'.. 


According to a Newsweek poll, women benefit more than their male counterparts from being considered attractive and good-looking by their employers.  72% of hiring managers say beauty is an asset to women in the workforce compared to 63% of managers who think attractiveness boosts men's careers. 


Another study by Daniel Hamermesh and Jeff Biddle titled, " Beauty and the Labor Market" said attractive workers earn 10% more in salary than their unattractive or average-looking co-workers. 


Now while the statistics can speak for themselves, ultimately you should still try to look the best you can look at work.. and let's face it, in our society you should really try to look the best you can no matter where you are.. 


I was recently teased for putting on make-up and doing my hair before heading to the airport for an early flight..but the same rule can apply here.. " dress for the seat you want (eh hem-first class) not the seat you have ( aka. way in the back with the crying babies and roaring engine). 


It might sound shallow, artificial or even ostentatious, but if a few slight improvements to your look ( non-surgical) has the chance or possibility of giving you a small advantage at your workplace or at the airport than why not take a minute or two and brush those flyaways down and change into a well ironed shirt and just put yourself together. 


Here is the full Beauty and the Labor Market study: http://www.ux1.eiu.edu/~lsghent/hamerbiddle.pdf


Thursday, April 5, 2012

I Don't Like Shots Anyways

An important new study has surfaced stating injectable contraceptives ( progestin-only birth control) can double the risk of breast cancer in young women after only a year or so of use!


Of course there are a ton of studies that come out every month it seems saying this BC pill will give you a higher  risk of this and that.. but it's something to always consider if you are using a form of BC..3.2% of women using contraception in the U.S use this kind of injectable contraception. 


I have a friend who uses "injectable contraceptives".. she said she's a fan because you get it done and then don't have to worry about forgetting to take a little pill at the same time everyday ( which to be honest I still strongly believe is a myth gynos tell you so you won't forget to take it)..


But don't be confused over the studies big technical term depo-medroxyprogesterone acetate, it's just what researches believe is the harmful link between the increased risk.. if you want to ask your doctor about it, it goes by DMPA.


So read on and enlighten yourself...





ABSTRACT
Depo-medroxyprogesterone acetate (DMPA) is an injectable contraceptive that contains
the same progestin as the menopausal hormone therapy regimen found to increase
breast cancer risk among postmenopausal women in the Women's Health Initiative
clinical trial. However, few studies have evaluated the relationship between DMPA use
and breast cancer risk. Here we conducted a population-based case-control study
among 1028 women 20-44 years of age to assess the association between DMPA use
and breast cancer risk. Detailed information on DMPA use and other relevant covariates
was obtained through structured interviewer administered in-person questionnaires, and
unconditional logistic regression was used to evaluate associations between various
aspects of DMPA use and breast cancer risk. We found that recent DMPA use for 12
months or longer was associated with a 2.2-fold (95% CI: 1.2-4.2) increased risk of
invasive breast cancer. This risk did not vary appreciably by tumor stage, size, hormone
receptor expression, or histological subtype. Although breast cancer is rare among
young women and the elevated risk of breast cancer associated with DMPA appears to
dissipate after discontinuation of use, our findings emphasize the importance of
identifying the potential risks associated with specific forms of contraceptives given the
number of available alternatives


Full Study: http://cancerres.aacrjournals.org/content/early/2012/02/25/0008-5472.CAN-11-4064.full.pdf+html?sid=1b3d9747-67b8-4afc-bcc3-79c94e99d444

Another Study on yet Another benefit to working out for women

For my first post I wanted to find a fun and lighthearted study that girls would enjoy. Maybe it's because I'm currently reading the 2nd book from the series Fifty Shades of Grey ( if haven't heard of it yet, #1 you should, #2 you should read it and #3 I'll have a separate post on the book later). Anyways, the book is basically a love story tangled around a life of BDSM. So while I've been reading the book and flipping through a lot and I repeat a lot of pages with detailed sex scenes and the main character, Ana,'s orgasms in them I thought about all those studies you've read or heard about saying how few women actually orgasm in bed ( according to Planned Parenthood stats 1 in 3 women have difficulty reaching orgasm during sex). That said this Ana character orgasms every time and goes 1 or 2 minutes after they've started! I know, I know, this is why it is a book and not real life. 

However when I passed the headline ' Working the Coregasm' on Salon.com I learned some interesting new facts that lead some experts to believe that working out can lead to self gratifying orgasms. Some women have said it comes when they are either doing sit-ups or climbing rope.. Here is the abstract to the study:


Orgasm is typically considered to be a sexual experience. However, orgasms occurring during physical exercise have been occasionally documented.

 The primary objective of the current study was to understand more about women's experience with exercise-induced orgasm (EIO) including the types of exercise that women have noted have led to EIO and associations with self-reported sexual experiences. A secondary purpose was to understand and assess women's experiences of exercise-induced sexual pleasure (EISP) among a convenience sample of women who had never experienced EIO but who had experienced sexual pleasure during exercise. 

A total of 530 women completed a cross-sectional, anonymous, Internet-based survey. The average age of first EIO was 18.9 years old. Among the most common exercises reported to induce orgasm were abdominal exercises, climbing and lifting weights. Women reporting EISP, but not orgasm, frequently identified biking/spinning, abdominal exercise and lifting weights as associated with their experiences. 

Self-consciousness during exercise was commonly reported by women in the EIO group. However, sexual thoughts or fantasy related to EIO were only rarely reported. Findings challenge the idea that women's orgasm is an intrinsically sexual experience. Implications related to the scientific understanding of orgasm processes and clinical recommendations are discussed. 



So the next time you are dragging your feet to the gym or counting the excuses on your hand not to go.. remember it could be let's just say.. a good time.. Have you ever had or felt an orgasm coming on at the gym?.. My thoughts.. Try the pull-up bar next time your at the gym...