Women aren't the only ones worried about that end of the date kiss or what to write on a text to a crush.
A new survey by TSB Magazine, a men's interest and online dating site, sought out to find just what confuses and frustrates men the most when it comes to women and dating.
The study asked men to choose from a list of common frustrations men might battle when trying to start a relationship. From a list of common issues, 32% said confusion about what to say in a text and when to send the text to a woman was the most frustrating aspect of trying to start at relationship. ( What men over-analyze text messages too?!)
22% said the biggest source of anxiety was whether or not they could recover from an awkward moment in a conversation with an attractive woman. ( You know the crickets moment where you don't know where else to look but down- Note to men, usually if you just buy us another drink we'll overlook the stupid joke you just tanked on).
12% said that just approaching women altogether fed their anxiety levels ( as long as were not in an in-depth conversation with one of our girlfriends we usually don't bite).
Surprisingly only 18% felt the end of the date goodbye kiss was the most frustrating part of dating ( it's stressful for all parties involved, a good or bad kiss could a deal breaker).
Lower on the list were issues on whether a woman sees you just as a friend as well as the frustration that comes when a guy thinks they really "hits it off" with a woman only to find out she's changed her mind and is already interested in someone else.
I couldn't help but compare this study to the debacle that is and was the premier episode of The Bachelorette on ABC last night. By the end of the first day The Bachelorette, this season's Emily Maynard, has to eliminate 6 out of 25 men after meeting each for mere minute. If they had time worry about any of the dating issues this study talks about they would drive themselves crazy.. or drunk... kind of like this contestant.. Now THAT is an awkward moment:
There is only so much dating advice you can get from your girlfriends and reality TV.
You may even find yourself asking so many questions to so many different people that you forget what your own opinion actually is.
But let's face it, no one has the perfect answer to any dating dilemma.
It's Monday, the weekend is over and maybe you meet a new guy over this past weekend and your already making yourself crazy over-analyzing his every move since you've meet or maybe you didn't meet anyone new this weekend and just need some some run-of-the-mill dating lessons and recommendations from a new source.
So here are a few helpful tips to take into consideration from an anonymous regular and overly honest guy who doesn't know you or the exact details of your dating life. He is a 28-year old guest blogger who has been both happily single and in a committed relationship.
The one thing girls need to
remember if they want to find/get a boyfriend The first thing is you don’t “find” or “get” a boyfriend because
when you are looking for a boyfriend guys can sense that and there is
absolutely nothing worse than a desperate girl. I believe the number one thing
girls need to remember is to have confidence in yourself, confidence to go up
to a guy and start the conversation. People talk about the “game” and the right
amount of days to call someone. I am sorry but this is not the 1920’s, if you want
something go out and get it. Don’t wait for the guy to be the catalyst of a
budding relationship because chances are unless you are a ten we are not going
to wait around.
Best way or place to meet a
guy with boyfriend potential If there was a specific place to meet a guy with bf potential
that place would be swarming with girls, unfortunately that place doesn't exist. What you need to do / be is open to new ideas, new places and new
people. Take yourself out of your comfort zone i.e( if you got to one bar all
the time try a new bar) it could be as simple as that. I think the best way to
meet a potential bf would be through friends. Be open to meeting other people
and don’t disregard new people if they don’t fit your groups mold… you are not
as cool as you think you are.
Keys to a happy
relationship that dating experts & self-help books don’t tell you If they seem shady, they are shady.. good-bye! Don’t over
communicate, if you talk through email all day you don’t need to have a hour
long chat that night it will become a chore and how many people like chores?!?!
Lastly with anything in life be yourself, you cant change who you are and if
you need to change yourself to be with a guy… hes not worth it .
For More Dating Advice from an older perspective check out the video post from 41-year old Hottie and Mad Men star, Jon Hamm:
Ahh College hookups.. A time to frolic from dorm room to dorm room without a care in the world. A place where you know you won't be caught and embarrassed in front of your parents or gossiped about as much as you would in the close quarters of high school hallways.
For some incoming freshmen hookups might be their first set of sexual encounters.They don't say college is liberating for nothing.
But one new study finds that such hookups don't actually make for great sexual experiences.
The Study "Accounting for Women's orgasm and sexual enjoyment in college hookups and relationships" published by the American Sociological Review wanted to explain why relationship sex is better for women (in terms of producing more orgasms and sexual pleasure).
After reviewing a large online survey of undergraduates at U.S colleges and Universities as well as in-depth interviews they found that women have orgasms more often in relationships than in hookups. The reason behind it?
The study contributes the better big O's from four things: 1- technically competent genital stimulation ( I mean if you don't know how to shift gears you shouldn't be driving a stick). 2- partner-specific learning ( that's what happens when you don't know the name of the guy your hooking up with, you can't call out his name with proper directions and commands). 3- commitment ( you'll most likely relax and enjoy yourself more knowing he won't hightail it out the door before you wake up in the morning). 4- gender equality (aka sexual equality, basically having some dignity and knowing you have the right to feel just as much sexual pleasure as your partner does).
And then they get into some unnerving double standards saying:
"both men and women question women’s (but not men’s) entitlement to pleasure in hookups but believe strongly in women’s (as well as men’s) entitlement to pleasure in relationships"
Essentially saying that women don't think they have the right to enjoy themselves in a casual hookup BUT it's ok for men to enjoy themselves. This isn't breaking news folks, this goes back to the unspoken understanding that if a woman fools around with a guy shes not in a relationship with she's called a slut, but if a guy hooks-up with a girl he's not dating he's a hotshot and a hero.
Take the study for what it is but now you are scientifically informed that random hook-ups won't be as enjoyable for you as hooking up with your boyfriend or husband.. so maybe.. if you can (and I for one won't judge you if you can't) put the hookups on hold.
Here is a funny video from College Humor on the aftermath of a hook up
Sure everyone likes a little relationship advice here and there. Whether its in the form of sitting around with your girlfriends drinking a big bottle of wine or watching a marathon of 'Tough Love' no ones relationship is perfect and suggestions are usually welcomed.
In a new book, "The Science of Relationships", a group of 15 university researchers and experts came together to help us all decipher 40 of the most common romantic dilemmas.
One topic they tackle is whether or not we are drawn to someone like our mother/father... ( you know what all the shrinks call 'daddy issues' or 'mamas boy'). Co-author Benjamin Le says that studies show that the type of attachment a parent makes to their child can be a factor in the outcome of their romantic preferences.
For example, if the parent was not consistently there for their child, the child may grow up with the expectations that their partner can't be relied on...
Which brings me to the idea of how we all measure relationship success? Are you more successful if you have a longer marriage or if you were happier longer in that marriage but are no longer married?
Le goes answers this in part by talking about personality pairings.. saying its common for one person to be the avoidant type while the other is more of the worried/anxious and jealous type- does this sound familiar in any of your past or current relationships? Though before you worry yourself any further, Le actually says those types of couples are pretty stable and common and can last as long as the 'secure and healthy ones! ( see you can relax now)...
Another hopeful question they address is whether or not fighting is a good or bad thing.. ( they must believe in make-up sex, right?)... Le says, "Couples who are thinking about the future, they step back and think about discussing this in ways that will make us both happy."
Contributing editor, Jennifer Harman adds that the end of an argument can possibly do a lot of damage to your relationship. You know when you leave the room slamming the door behind you and threatening to leave or just leaving without saying a word aka Irish exiting. Harman says, "Any time you start using negativity it takes a lot of other positive acts to reverse it." (aka make-up sex?)
But what happens when you reach the marriage point of your relationship, are we all doomed to lose some kind of sizzle and spark that we started with? Harman says sadly we do, contributing life's happenings in terms of jobs, kids and life demands to suck the life/satisfaction out of your marriage. Of course they offer some solace, saying new activities can boost your relationship satisfaction..physical and intellectual activities that is- so no, relaxing on a couch watching football and/or the Food Network all day doesn't count...
