Valentine's Day..And All The Silly Survey's & Stats

Who actually reads all those sappy Valentine's Day stories and studies that take over the internet the week before February 14th? Sure some of the numbers are interesting but all the love me/ love me not crap in between is nauseating. So here are some of the more interesting stats for the single and taken gals and guys ( this way you don't have to read the unwanted love news or bachelor/ bachelorette stats...

For the Singles:

• 40% of people say going out with friends is the best break-up remedy (Bing survey)

• A surprising 1 in 10 people admit to having broken up with someone on Valentine’s Day. (Bing survey)

• SeekingArrangement.com, revealed that on average a man needs to shell out $218 to “get lucky” on Valentine’s Day. The study also revealed on average how much married, single, and committed men spend during this holiday: Single: $257: Dinner or Activity Married:$203: Presents, Committed a Relationship: $180:Presents

• Does a date’s height, debt and virginity really matter? 71% of women are not likely to date someone shorter than themselves; 42% of singles would not date a virgin (33% of men and 51% of women); and 65% of singles would not date someone with considerable credit card debt (>$5K). (Match.com survey)

• Connecting online ranks #1 amongst places where singles meet. nearly 1/3 of singles (27.5%) reported that they have dated someone whom they met online. In addition, 20% of singles met their most recent first date online vs. 7% who met at a bar. (Match.com survey)

" If you want new results in love, you have to do things - and date - differently"- Andrea Syrtash, author of Cheat On Your Husband (With Your Husband)



For the Attached:

• Six million people are planning or expecting a marriage proposal for Valentine's Day, up from 4 million in 2012. ( American Express Spending and Saving Tracker consumer report)

• Romantic love survives long-term. Over 80% of married men and women would marry the same person again, while 76% married men and 73% women are still very much in love with their current spouse:: 8-10 on a scale of 10 being “deeply in love”. ( Match.com)

• Nearly two-thirds of couples surveyed say a weekend getaway is more likely to spark romance in their relationship than a gift. (U.S. Travel Association)

• 28% of the couples say their sex life actually improved after traveling together. Of those couples, 40% say the improvement was permanent. (U.S. Travel Association)

"For women, manage expectations so there's no disappointment. Men aren't mind readers. If he gets the day wrong- move on. It doesn't have to be a big deal unless you make it one. If Valentine’s Day is too inconvenient or falls on a busy day, celebrate on day before or day after. Don’t put too much pressure on celebrating the actual day".  - Relationship guru and SiriusXM host Jenny Hutt

What Really Turns You on...

When you think of what gets you in the mood to have sex do you think of soft sounds from Marvin Gaye and a bedroom covered with candles and rose petals? Or maybe a naughty text message?

Sure it may not sound as romantic but according to a survey by Fitness Magazine and Yahoo! Shine 22% of men and women between the ages of 18-34 say it is.

20% say a sexy movie can turn them on the most.

And for women its those simple three little words that does the trick... 44% say "I love you" gets them in the mood.

Is There Really A Science to Relationships?

Sure everyone likes a little relationship advice here and there. Whether its in the form of sitting around with your girlfriends drinking a big bottle of wine or watching a marathon of 'Tough Love' no ones relationship is perfect and suggestions are usually welcomed. 


In a new book, "The Science of Relationships", a group of 15 university researchers and experts came together to help us all decipher 40 of the most common romantic dilemmas. 


One topic they tackle is whether or not we are drawn to someone like our mother/father... ( you know what all the shrinks call 'daddy issues' or 'mamas boy'). Co-author Benjamin Le says that studies show that the type of attachment a parent makes to their child can be a factor in the outcome of their romantic preferences. 


For example, if the parent was not consistently there for their child, the child may grow up with the expectations that their partner can't be relied on... 


Which brings me to the idea of how we all measure relationship success? Are you more successful if you have a longer marriage or if you were happier longer in that marriage but are no longer married?


Le goes answers this in part by talking about personality pairings.. saying its common for one person to be the avoidant type while the other is more of the worried/anxious and jealous type- does this sound familiar in any of your past or current relationships? Though before you worry yourself any further, Le actually says those types of couples are pretty stable and common and can last as long as the 'secure and healthy ones! ( see you can relax now)... 


Another hopeful question they address is whether or not fighting is a good or bad thing.. ( they must believe in make-up sex, right?)... Le says, "Couples who are thinking about the future, they step back and think about discussing this in ways that will make us both happy." 


Contributing editor, Jennifer Harman adds that the end of an argument can possibly do a lot of damage to your relationship. You know when you leave the room slamming the door behind you and threatening to leave or just  leaving without saying a word aka Irish exiting. Harman says, "Any time you start using negativity it takes a lot of other positive acts to reverse it." (aka make-up sex?)


But what happens when you reach the marriage point of your relationship, are we all doomed to lose some kind of sizzle and spark that we started with? Harman says sadly we do, contributing life's happenings in terms of jobs, kids and life demands to suck the life/satisfaction out of your marriage. Of course they offer some solace, saying  new activities can boost your relationship satisfaction..physical and intellectual activities that is- so no,  relaxing on a couch watching football and/or the Food Network all day doesn't count...

Numbers Don't Lie: A book on Love, Sex & Dating by Numbers

After last night's episode of "Grey's Anatomy" where one poor misguided doctor gets slapped in the face with the news that her beloved husband has cheated on her, I wondered what the most recent statistics on cheating must be. However after a quick search I came upon a much more interesting statistic.

When a man thinks his partner is cheating on him, chances are 50/50 that he is right. -Now before you object...Whereas if a woman suspects that her endearing partner is cheating on her she is correct 85%. Coincidence? Psychic abilities? No. It's just in the numbers.

Statistician John Croucher spent years researching and studying the association between love and numbers by compiling survey results from research acquired by an array of "amorous activities".

Here are some of my favorite "love numbers":

•   15% of those using dating websites or personal ads are already married or in a relationship.( I can attest to this one-eh hem one of my ex's).
• 68% of men think when a woman invites you for coffee it's really an invitation to have sex ( when did coffee become an aphrodisiac?)
• 19% of men think its OK to break-up via email ( I guess post-it's are a thing of the past).
• Fewer than 2 in 5 people believe they married their soul-mate ( see all those Nicholas Sparks books are lying to us!)
• 38% of men have fantasized about having sex with their partner's girlfriends ( reason why models don't have any friends)

Croucher does acknowledge that some of his #'s may have some margin of error but to look at them more as a useful guide to how men and women think.

"Ask men what makes their blood run cold when your partner says it to you and number one in all the survey's I've seen is, ' We have to talk,'" Croucher said. Adding that when men hear the ol' we have to talk remark it either means three things; that she's going to leave him, she found somebody else or has found something out about him that demands his attention or explanation.

Whether you want to believe what an assortment of numbers has to do with you and your relationship, it serves as an interesting read and better yet maybe an amusing coffee table book.

You can find it here: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B005Q65BX4/ref=rdr_kindle_ext_tmb