Men Get Frustrated with Dating Too: What They Fear the Most

Women aren't the only ones worried about that end of the date kiss or what to write on a text to a crush.


A new survey by TSB Magazine, a men's interest and online dating site, sought out to find just what confuses and frustrates men the most when it comes to women and dating.


The study asked men to choose from a list of common frustrations men might battle when trying to start a relationship. From a list of common issues, 32% said confusion about what to say in a text and when to send the text to a woman was the most frustrating aspect of trying to start at relationship. ( What men over-analyze text messages too?!)


22% said the biggest source of anxiety was whether or not they could recover from an awkward moment in a conversation with an attractive woman. ( You know the crickets moment where you don't know where else to look but down- Note to men, usually if you just buy us another drink we'll overlook the stupid joke you just tanked on).


12% said that just approaching women altogether fed their anxiety levels ( as long as were not in an in-depth conversation with one of our girlfriends we usually don't bite).


Surprisingly only 18% felt the end of the date goodbye kiss was the most frustrating part of dating ( it's stressful for all parties involved, a good or bad kiss could a deal breaker).


Lower on the list were issues on whether a woman sees you just as a friend as well as the frustration that comes when a guy thinks they really "hits it off" with a woman only to find out she's changed her mind and is already interested in someone else.  


I couldn't help but compare this study to the debacle that is and was the premier episode of  The Bachelorette on ABC last night. By the end of the first day The Bachelorette, this season's Emily Maynard, has to eliminate 6 out of 25 men after meeting each for mere minute. If they had time worry about any of the dating issues this study talks about they would drive themselves crazy.. or drunk... kind of like this contestant.. Now THAT is an awkward moment: 

Your Friends Don't like your Boyfriend? Would you Dump him over it?

Everyone has some similar or shared interest with their friends or they wouldn't be friends right?
Whether it's liking the same activities, genre of books and movies or sharing the same sense of humor, in someway or another you friends mirror some small part of you.


But what about when it comes to men. Obviously  if your constantly eyeing for the same guy at the bar this will  eventually cause a riff between friends, but on the other side, what if you don't like the guy your friend is seeing, what happens then?


Datewithamate.com, a dating website that sets up pairs of friends on double dates with other pairs of friends conducted a study to find out just how important a friend's approval is when a new boyfriend is introduced to your circle of friends.


According to the study, 42% said they would need their friends approval when they started dating a new person.. furthermore 12% said they would even end a relationship if their friends didn't approve ( a Mother's Day tie-in: just 8% said they would end it if their mom didn't approve). 


Luke Pomaro, founder of datewithamate.com said the study was to help them get to know their target market better and added, "I appreciate the importance of a friend’s approval, however I don’t believe it is that important that if a friend doesn't approve the relationship should be ended. The grounds of a healthy relationship are ultimately down to the two people directly involved in it and as long as they are happy together that should be all that matters."


Although I think we'd all like to say we would end a relationship if our friends didn't like our boyfriend how many times have you heard stories of a break-up followed by a friend saying ' I never really liked him anyways" or " I don't know what you saw in him, I always thought you could do so much better"...


You won't win the friend of the year award for dumping your dude just because your friends don't see the same charm and lovable person you see. BUT if your friends are trying to warn you about your guys red flags that you are too love struck and blind to see you should appreciate and consider their opinion and maybe approach your man about certain concerns you've suddenly become aware of. 

                         Ke$ha Singing about her Best Friends Boyfriend

Books that Explain Dating...

I read an interview with the author of "Attached" by psychiatrist and neuroscientist Dr. Amir Levine. In the interview he talks about his new book and how it explains the science behind finding and keeping your significant other... basically saying that there is a whole science to how we behave in romantic relationships which no one has known before.

He starts off with stating that we are all dependent on our significant other- note this is not a question on whether you are or are not, he says its a biological fact- and the only way you'll find the right person to 'depend' on is to determine your "attachment style" which he breaks down into 3 categories.

1- Avoidance; you want to be in a relationship but once you start getting too close to your partner you feel like you are losing your independence and quickly want to shut down and close yourself off. ( Been there- done that..What's that saying again..."Better to have loved and lost than never loved at all").

2- Anxious; You want to be close and intimate but you worry about being loved back ( Yup- Another check in my box..You have all seen the movie He's Just Not That Into You right?)

3- Secure; The warm and loving types who are usually very easy going and comfortable with intimacy ( I would consider myself to be easy going, does that count?)

Levine basically says if you're the "Secure" type you can date anyone and that these people are like 'having a relationship coach built into your relationship'. Calling all Dr.Phils out there- You have now become the next ABC Bachelor contestant!

One piece of dating advice I have to quote here is Levine's recommendation to ' wear your heart on your sleeve when you go on a date. It's not a place of weakness; it comes from a place of strength'... Maybe the good doctor didn't catch the with Bachelorette contestant Casey when he literally tattooed a heart on his sleeve and sang his true feelings to Bachelorette Ali Fedotowsky..

He goes on with other enlightening encouragement saying that these epitomes, the "secure ones", know  'instinctively that they need to take care of their partner's needs to avoid a huge fight and be happy'.

Maybe I am reading too much into this, but instead of playing the submissive role, wouldn't you think compromise and compatibility would play some part in the equation for a happy relationship?



You can check out more information on Dr.Levine and his book from the good doctor's website: http://www.attachedthebook.com/about-the-book/