Everyone has some similar or shared interest with their friends or they wouldn't be friends right? Whether it's liking the same activities, genre of books and movies or sharing the same sense of humor, in someway or another you friends mirror some small part of you.
But what about when it comes to men. Obviously if your constantly eyeing for the same guy at the bar this will eventually cause a riff between friends, but on the other side, what if you don't like the guy your friend is seeing, what happens then?
Datewithamate.com, a dating website that sets up pairs of friends on double dates with other pairs of friends conducted a study to find out just how important a friend's approval is when a new boyfriend is introduced to your circle of friends.
According to the study, 42% said they would need their friends approval when they started dating a new person.. furthermore 12% said they would even end a relationship if their friends didn't approve ( a Mother's Day tie-in: just 8% said they would end it if their mom didn't approve).
Luke Pomaro, founder of datewithamate.com said the study was to help them get to know their target market better and added, "I appreciate the
importance of a friend’s approval, however I don’t believe it is that important
that if a friend doesn't approve the relationship should be ended. The grounds of a healthy
relationship are ultimately down to the two people directly involved in it and
as long as they are happy together that should be all that matters."
Although I think we'd all like to say we would end a relationship if our friends didn't like our boyfriend how many times have you heard stories of a break-up followed by a friend saying ' I never really liked him anyways" or " I don't know what you saw in him, I always thought you could do so much better"...
You won't win the friend of the year award for dumping your dude just because your friends don't see the same charm and lovable person you see. BUT if your friends are trying to warn you about your guys red flags that you are too love struck and blind to see you should appreciate and consider their opinion and maybe approach your man about certain concerns you've suddenly become aware of.
It's the age-old question, can men and women really just be friends?
The disputed 'When Harry met Sally' conundrum seems to always go back to the problem of attraction. A news study says that though these platonic relationships are plausible, there is nearly always a portion of attraction between male and female friends.
And if some guys wonder why they seem to hear the line "I just want to be friends" or " I think we're better off as friends" more than their female counterparts its because men report more sexual interest in their female friends than their female friends do in them and men are more likely to overestimate how romantically interested their friends are in them.
Lead author in the study, April Bleske-Rechek says that although men and women want to be friends and have platonic relationships, that data she has collected shows that attraction can get in the way.
April and her researchers sent questionnaires to 107 young adults asking whether they thought their cross-sex friendships were beneficial or burdensome- the results?
"Everyone was very positive about these friendships, ranking them as overwhelmingly beneficial."
However beneficial these friendships might be, attraction was named as an interference when it came to the relationships 5-times more than it was said to be a benefit and the more attracted someone was to a friend, the lower their satisfaction with their romantic partner.
So what do we learn from this study?
I can't help but think of the old Jimmy Soul song, " If you wanna be happy"...
If you wanna be happy for the rest of your life Never make a pretty woman your wife So for my personal point of view Get an ugly girl to marry you
I know the concept may be a little different.. but bottom line.. girls are much better at having platonic friendships with men than men are.. and if your guy has a "best girl-friend" who looks like the next Kate Upton either keep your eye on her or tell him to get uglier girlfriends.
Break-up's are hard enough. You cry, you overeat or don't eat at all and lock yourself in your bedroom with Ben & Jerry's and a years supply of sappy movies.
But after all the tears and empty containers, you come to your senses and realize that the relationship wasn't all it was cracked up to be anyways and in the end you can see that you have only really lost one friend who didn't deserve you anyways, right?
A new study by HealBee.com says after a long-term relationship ends you are actually likely to lose about eight friends- most likely to be about three friends of the ex-partner and three or so mutual friends made during the relationship.
Speaking from experience, I maintained one mutual friend after my last long-term relationship ended and I've witnessed the break-ups of some of my friends where I too I have completely lost touch with my friend's ex-partner.
31 % of the 2,000 people polled ( people who recently went through a break-up) said they regret some of their actions during the break-up because of the effect it had on their friendships- Maybe too many drunk phone calls or texts sparring with your ex left some bad blood?
Once the relationship was finalized, over -terminated, 49% claimed either they or their ex were pushed out of one another's group of friends.
Although this statistic sounds a bit disheartening, would you want to be the cause of awkward stares and hushed whispers. What if one of you wants to bring a new partner around out on a night your group of friends are all going out to a bar? If you happen to have watched any of the Jersey Shore episodes on MTV you know Sammy didn't take it well when she saw Ronny out just talking to other girls and you can see just how uncomfortable their fights and break-ups made the other housemates/friends.
Chad Schofield, founder of the site added, " No matter how supportive your friends and family actually are, there's often a need to make some big life decisions which may well affect you for years to come- all at a time when you may not be fully ready to or be at your most rational."
Hmm let's see.. My last break-up resulted in myself chopping all my hair off and taking some very impromptu and pricey trips around the world...
From the study only 12 % revealed that they couldn't have asked their friends to be any more supportive during their difficult time- A statistic that seems a little too low for my liking..
True friends will be there for you through thick and thin, if you lose some during a break-up you probably know deep down that they weren't your real friends anyways.
